The calendar
by jharkens
Summary: Male/Male; gay; Roy/Moss Roy is finally in bed with a girl from seven when an unexpected name comes out, leading to an interesting conversation and an interesting proposition.


The Calender

'Finally,' thought Roy, 'I'm snogging a girl from seven. Her soft lips had obviously done this before and moved from his lips to his neck. He retaliated by grabbing her lips with his own once again and pushing the kiss on passionately. Roy could feel himself getting excited and let his hands start to wonder when behind his closed lids he saw moss on all fours shushing him on the calendar shoot. His eyes shot open and he heard Kim say: "Wow that got up fast." in a slow sensual voice, "am I that hot?" she asked with a giggle. Roy flushed red when he realized she was right but just reasoned out that: 'Yes, in fact, she was that hot.' With a mischevious laugh, he dove in at her neck making her coo.

...

Sheets moved and the bed rattled for about an hour before Roy groaned out "Ooh, Moss!" and collapsed next to a girl named Kimberly and definitely not Moss.

'Oh God' thought Roy hoping somehow she didn't hear that. He tried to care enough to move or speak but he was till reeling what just happened.

Finally, the silence was broken.

"Ummm, a-are you.. gay?" asked Kim still staring at the ceiling laying on her back.

A long hiss of air was the only response from Roy for another five minutes.

"Yeah noo, I uh well I I don't really know What that was..."

More silence. 'Wonderful,' the Irishman thought to himself.

After what seemed like an eternity Kimberly slid out of bed wrapped in her sheet and padded gently on bare feet to her bathroom.

As soon as Roy heard the spray of the shower hit the tub he bolted out of bed pulling his on as quickly as possible, glanced at the clock and was out the door on his way home for some rest.

###############################Moss here

Roy stalked into the basement in a strange concoction of a mood.

And of course his best mate Maurice Moss was the first person he saw. Just like every day this week since he got back from holiday. Roy giggled remembering the tourist themed outfit Moss had on when he came back and found he and Jen arguing over the calendar.

"The calendar," Roy said bitterly at his desk, chin propped on his balled fists as he stared across at Moss who was busy typing away on his computer.

'I wonder what he's typing, it's not like we have actual work to do, it's Friday.' Roys' head cocked to the side while he thought about the man he was staring at who was staring back... 'wait what!?'

"Uh-" was all Roy got out before moss said, "Hullo Roy! Do you need something?" with his usual smile.

"-uh no Moss I'm fine, thanks." replied Roy.

"You are aware you've been staring though?" Maurice asked and then began to babble on: "OH! Or were you sleeping again? You know I still find that weird Roy an-

"No, no, no!" Roy shot at him interrupting. "I'm not asleep, I'm just tired! I didn't get much sleep last night if you know what I mean," said Roy with a smirk and a small laugh trying to send a clue to his clueless friend.

"Ah yes, I see," replied Moss, "you conquered the fickle beast called woman yet again."

Moss always said the strangest things but Roy loved it he just smiled and laughed harder, "that I have, that I have."

"You know Moss... you're a good looking guy," Roy said while strictly Not making eye contact and very quickly following it up with: "Why don't you ever, ya know conquer the beast or whatever."

"Well Roy that's an excellent question, though I have in fact done it you know but, no one seems right anymore," Moss said nonchalantly still typing.

"What do you mean 'right'?" Roy inquired, "I mean as long as she's got boobs right?" he was only half joking about that and he took a second to appreciate the thought of them.

"Men don't have breasts, Roy."

"WHAT?!"

Now Moss stopped his incessant typing and turned to Roy, "Oh, I'm sorry Roy did.. you not know that? Only women have breasts Roy, to feed their children." Moss was very serious and was apparently very keen on Roy understanding that men do not have breasts.

"NO NO NO NO NO back up. Are you Gay Moss?"

"No," he replied cheerfully and without hesitation.

Stunned that his best friend never told him this and a bit confused at the response it took a minute and a lot of blinking indignantly before saying, "But.. you'd sleep with a man... I- I don't follow."

"Get with the times Roy!" Moss chastised Roy in what he called his 'computer voice.' "It's caalled PAN-sexual Rooy."

"How did I not know this?!" Roy squealed two octaves higher than normal.

"Oh what's wrong now Roy?" asked Jen as she strolled in toward her office.

"H-h-he's Ah nevermind!" sulking Roy slumped down into his chair sour over not knowing something about his best mate.

###############################sighhh

It took about an hour of puffs, groans, and sighs for Roy to admit to himself that he wasn't mad about Moss' sexuality or about not knowing. On a normal day he wouldn't have given it a second thought but he...

He had a chance and by God, he was gonna take it.

It was a drab uneventful day and Roy made sure to sit and wait out the whole thing, until an hour before they got off that is. Today they'd all get off at seven so when six finally came, Roy stood and casually walked into Jen's office.

"Oi Jen? Ya know me and Moss were thinking, you do such great work," said Roy knowing it would be easy to get her out of the office, "I mean.. amazin' work and you look tired so Ya know what? You should just go 'ome."

Jen was already rolling back from her desk when she replied, "-well I am a bit tired and I doo do great -ahem Amazing work.."

"Yeeeahhhhh there's only an hour left," the brunet confirmed, "we'll be fine." Rooy cooed as he helped her out of her chair and handed her bag "Go on he chirped, happy as a bird that it was so easy.

He walked just inches away from Jen, all the way to the door reassuring her and herding her out until she was completely gone and he watched down the hall till she got all the way into the elevator at which point heart racing and feeling crushing him, Roy spun around and shouted awkwardly "GO ON A DATE WITH ME" in a voice that possibly only dogs could hear. At this point, Roy realized he was sweating buckets and felt about the same as he did when he was locked in a truck with robbers that he didn't know he was helping.

Roy felt hot and must have turned every shade of red when he remembered Moss kissing him forcefully against that wall and quickly scurried over to his desk crossing his legs.

Coyly the nervous lobster colored man turned to look at Moss, still waiting for an answer but Moss was already looking at him and instead of surprised or embarrassed he just looked peeved.

"What is wrong with you Roy!" exclaimed Moss, "It took you Weeks to ask me out after I kissed you. Would you do that to a woman?! SEXISM ROY."

"WHAT?!" was all Roy could summon.

"OF COURSE, I'll go on a date with you." said Moss letting out a hiss of annoyance.

Roy sat back in his chair completely confused but with a small smile.


End file.
